You’re talking but NOT listening…

Ever have a disagreement with someone and it just goes round and round in circles and nothing is being accomplished? You sit there wondering –  Why does this person not understand what I am saying? Why does this person not understand where I am coming from? That is the reason, it is because you are so focused on YOU. It is because you BOTH have your own valid points that you want to make defending where you stand with the disagreement, but you are not listening to the other persons point of view.

In all relationships, whether it is an acquaintance, family, friends or lover –  COMMUNICATION is key. If you have the proper communication skills, I can promise you that any disagreements going forward are all going to be an eye opener to you. The number ONE reason why disagreements go from 0-100 is because you’re talking …but not listening.

I am going to give you 3 tips on making communication on disagreements going forward a little easier :

The first thing to do when you and someone disagree on something is to – ALWAYS keep an open mind. If you are an open minded person you will have the ability to understand the other side of the situation. It is kind of like “There are three sides to a story, his, hers, and the truth.” It is important to understand this because not everyone views situations the way that you do, they are not wrong – they are just in a different view point.

Second, let the other person speak first, and when I mean speak I mean let them put everything out on the table in a calm non aggressive matter. As a listener you are going to hear a few things from that person. You are going to hear – WHAT they are feeling & WHY they are feeling that way. This is going to put the ball in your court, it is going to give you the upper hand. WHY ? – because now you have the power to take the disagreement to the next level which can lead to a dramatic argument OR have an opportunity to be that open minded person and say “Okay, now I understand why you are feeling like that, but I feel ……”

Once someone gets recognition that their “side” has been heard or understood and not discredited, they are more likely to listen to your side and understand where you are coming from. I mean come on, whats worst then being in an argument with someone and instead of them listening to what you said and ACKNOWLEDGING it, they blow it off and continue rambling on about another reason they are right?

Last, after you acknowledge the other persons feelings and views and then state your side of the argument,and the other person is not being open minded about it –  you simply agree to disagree. Why continue going back and fourth ? The two most important factors of each side have been given, everyone had the opportunity to lay their feelings out on the table – what more is there to say?

It is 100% okay to agree to disagree, everyone has their right to their own opinion, they are not wrong & as an open minded person who talks and listens …you will understand that. You will now be able to have an effective disagreement with the communication skills I provided you with, making confrontations a little bit easier. It will also make you look like the bigger person who took control of the situation, no one likes to argue with a know it all – because you will get NO WHERE.

Until next time– xx

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