So I am recently single, just got out of a four year relationship in December 2016. Prior to that relationship I was in a two year relationship. I guess you can say I am a relationship type of girl, so being single is new to me.
However, I have many friends who are single who have come to me over the years asking how I would handle certain situations. Not to toot my own horn or anything but for me being in a relationship most of my “adult” life, I give great advice to my single friends. Today I am focusing on dating and a certain conversation I have had with my friends way too often that leave me confused and/or cracking up & I need to address it.
I know for a fact that 7/10 girls have said “I am not texting him first” I usually respond with a chuckle, a dramatic eye roll and “WHY??”
Just to throw some history facts out there, in the mid 1800’s to the early 1900’s women fought for our right to vote. (Still boggles my mind that we even had to fight for that right) We have fought for equality for years, the society that we live in has conformed us women to think the man needs to make the first move. Which completely contradicts the whole “equality” thing we have fought for so long for.
“I am not texting him first” – I don’t know about you but my parents have always raised me to believe if I want something to go and get it. You’re texting this guy for a few days, you’re really into him, then all of a sudden he doesn’t text you one morning. Why would you not text him first if you didn’t hear from him ? YOU LIKE HIM !!!! Is it because “If he is interested in me he will text me first!” or “I don’t want to annoy him!”? Take control of your life, how are you going to allow someone else’s actions dictate your future ? Maybe he is sitting at home thinking the same thing! But because you are stubborn and conformed into thinking the guy needs to do things first you now potentially missed out on a really great thing. The best is, instead of just sending him a text message, you send a text to your group chat of BFF’s & post subliminal meme’s on your social media hoping he will see. At that point if he sees it, he thinks you’re absolutely crazy and you’re really not getting a text message from him now, so way to go.
There is this dating app called Bumble, and it really goes against the “norm” of the world of dating apps. So unlike any other app, once you match with a person the girl can only reach out to the guy, no guys can send the initial first message. This allows women to be in control of their own future, and be the initiator. After speaking with a guy friend who is on the app the feedback I received was not great “I absolutely hate it because these girls have no problem swiping right and changing their about me everyday but they can’t start a conversation ? Makes no sense, why have bumble then – go on Tinder” YIKES, but it proves my exact point.
Even in a social setting, at a bar for instance. You’re standing at the bar and you and this guy have been making eye contact all night. Girls are more likely to just wait for him to approach her rather than take it into their own hands and approach him first. If he doesn’t,you now missed out on a potential great thing..AGAIN.
Moral of the story – ladies stop being so afraid to take that initial step, stop allowing your future to be determined by what the man wants and most of all if you want something go get it. Guys like a girl with self confidence and a go getter – stop holding back.
Until next time – xx