Break ups are not easy, sometimes I feel like doing the actual breaking up with is harder than getting broken up with. You have to go into a conversation knowing that you are about to break someone’s heart. But at the same time you need to put your happiness first and know your worth, that is the most important thing.
My definition of a relationship is when two people are connected by a bond that no one but those two people can understand. They support one another in everything they do, they trust each other and most importantly they love their significant other for who they are and don’t feel the need to change anything about that person.
Once you lose one or a few of these essentials, sorry to say but it’s time to walk away.
They support you in everything you do : As an individual it is so important to set goals for yourself. They can be minor, such as get your essay for class done 2 days before the due date, or they can be major ones such as lose a specific amount of weight by a specific day. If your partner knows you have these goals you want to reach they should be supporting you and helping you get there. If they see you slacking off a little bit they should 100% call you out on it and pump you up to get back on track. If they don’t – then your personal goals don’t matter to them, which is just a reflection on how they view you.
Trust: Trust is the main foundation in a relationship, if you do not have trust you have nothing. Point Blank. Trust should be given to EVERYONE until they give you a reason not to trust them. It is so important to understand that if someone does not trust YOU because they were hurt in the past, that has nothing to do with you and there is no valid reason for it. YOU did not hurt them, someone else did, so if someone puts that on you it should be an automatic red flag !! When you are in a relationship with someone you are trusting them not only with your heart, but your dreams,ambitions,secrets and most of all your well being. You are trusting this person to make smart decisions that will affect not only them but you as well being you are in a relationship together. Once that trust is gone, everything changes – and usually once that trust is gone..you can not get it back.
Loving your significant other for who they are: Do you remember the first time you laid eyes on your significant other? Did you immediately feel those butterflies or did it take some time to realize the love you could potentially have with this person? Either way, you fell for them how they were. Times and trends are changing, our society is so focused on materialistic things. If you find yourself changing to please your significant other or doing things you normally wouldn’t do, then that initial love that was first there is gone. If you are changing it should be changing TOGETHER, not individually to please one another.
If you feel like you do not have these essentials in your relationship, I advise you to take a step back, reevaluate the situation and think is it time to walk away ? If you once had it but no longer do – you are most likely just comfortable in your relationship and did not even realize it was happening. If you never had it, then I don’t know why you are in a relationship with this person to begin with.
Until next time – xx