Dating the Badge

I come from a family of law enforcement, father, uncles, aunts and now cousins. I have friends who are in law enforcement and I have friends whose significant others are in law enforcement. So this is a post that is extremely close to my heart.

The society that we live in today has become so divided with black lives matter and blue lives matter, but in reality ALL lives matter. Obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion because we all have different views on situations, but ALL lives matter is something that is number one priority to all law enforcement.

I have interviewed two amazing people, one from each side of the relationship, who helped me understand what it is like to “Date the Badge”.

First is Jesse, he has been in the law enforcement field for 8 years now and I had the pleasure of speaking with him on what his dating life is like. Reading his responses you can see how passionate and dedicated he is to this field of work, Its not easy but it is a challenge he was more than happy to take on!

Alex : “What made you want to be in the law enforcement field?”

Jesse: “My aunt used to date the captain of a police department near sandy hook. I spent most of my summers up there when I was younger. He ran the motorcycle unit and would pick me up all throughout the day and drive me around, so I fell in love. Then in 2001 after 9/11 happened I was in the fifth grade and literally, that day I made my decision that my career path was going to be either law enforcement or military service.”

Alex: “What does your weekly schedule look like?”

Jesse: ” Depending on your position in law enforcement your schedule is always different from days to midnight, or different lengths of shifts (8 to 12+ hours).. I always got stuck working the holidays because I was the little guy in seniority haha.”

Alex: “What was your favorite time to work and why?”

Jesse: ” I loved being the evening shift 3 pm-11 pm or the flex 7 pm-3 am. You could sleep in and still have plenty of time to yourself. Also that’s when all the excitement happens. Bad guys usually don’t wake up until 3 anyways haha. As for weather, the spring and summer is my favorite. When it is nice out it is so much easier to work, and more comfortable for me. I hate the cold and sometimes you’re stuck outside for a very very long time. I would rather catch a tan than frostbite!”

Alex: “Would you say this job consumes more, less or the same amount of time in your life compared to other jobs?”

Jesse: ” I never worked a day in my life when I was in law enforcement. It’s a passion and a calling. The word calling is over used but it is true. Talk to some police officers, you’ll see who goes to work and who is just living that amazing life. At times the job gets over whelming, sure.”

Alex: “When you applied for the position did you think it would consume the amount of time it did?”

Jesse: “I had an idea of what I was getting into. I dedicated my younger life preparing for it. I was in military school from 12 – 18. My sophomore year I went and got my EMT and started volunteering in town. My junior and senior year I went to VOCS for law and public safety. So I guess I was always so focused that the time it consumes never bothered me. 9 months of a police academy bothered me though hahaha.”

Alex: “Where you ever in a serious relationship being in law enforcement?”

Jesse: “Yes, I was in a relationship with another cop actually haha.”

Alex: ” Do you find it hard to date or meet people being in your field of work?”

Jesse: ” It is difficult at times. Sometimes the schedule can be very conflicting. I had a hard time because we were both in the same field of work, we both as “alpha” personalities. But when we weren’t together, there was no shortage of people interested in your job, not necessarily you.

Alex: “What are some sacrifices you have to make in your personal life because of your job?”

Jesse: “Everybody has to make sacrifices in their lives. Unfortunately, for us the work day never stops, and it is around the clock. I guess the easiest answer, is that we are always working. Holidays, birthday parties, weddings…all the things that everybody always gets to go to and most of the time we cant.”

Alex:”What is the most challenging part of being in a relationship being in your field?”

Jesse: “Probably just the worry. You see a lot of things, good and bad in this field. So your are always worrying about your loved ones. You learn to really appreciate life itself.Sometimes we need those reminders to be grateful for what you have.”

Alex: “Do you have any problems separating work and home life?”

Jesse: “It is very difficult to turn that switch off. Sometimes I catch myself acting a way or saying something I normally wouldn’t. As for physically, your attention to detail can never stop. If it does then you need to move on and find another job. So whether your working or not, that can never stop.”

Alex:”Do you ever fear for the safety of your significant other?”

Jesse: “I’ve never feared it. I have worries about it though. I feel every man should worry about the people they care about. I am the protector, and everyone should feel safe with me. Work should never come home with you like that. If it does, then your poking a bear you don’t want to wake up.”

Alex: “Being in the field is there certain things you look for in a girl differently then if you were not in this field?”

Jesse: ” Honesty, trust, understanding, determination and loyalty. Those are your basic foundations of a relationship. But understanding is really the big one that stands out. She is now in a different family, our blue family is very powerful. If we let them in then they will always be taken are of.But they need to be understanding of our lives and jobs.”

Alex: ” If you could give one piece of advice to someone who is or wants to date the badge, what would it be?”

Jesse: ” Don’t ask for PBA cards.. haha just kidding. Having patience and understanding. Communicate,communication is key to solving all your issues. If you don’t talk you’ll never know what the problem is. Maybe tell them you are proud of them once in a while, In today’s world we live in, we have a lot of haters.”

Now we have Francesca, she has been dating her boyfriend Tom who is a police officer for a year and five months. Reading Francesca’s responses you can see that being on the other end of a relationship in law enforcement can be a little more stressful, but she has gathered the understanding concept that Jesse spoke about in the previous interview.

Alex:”When you met Tom was he already a police officer?”

Fran: “Yes, he was.”

Alex:”Does his profession scare you?”

Fran:”All the time, especially when he was working in Florence Township, which was not a good area. He was not allowed to be on his cell phone so I couldn’t talk to him which was nerve racking.”

Alex:”Do your schedules work out or is there a lot of conflicts?”

Fran:”Not at all. Tom usually works 7 am – 7 pm one month, the next 7 pm – 7 am. He works 12 hour shifts, I barley saw him.

Alex:”How does that make you feel?”

Fran: “It makes me upset and it puts a strain on our relationship. But I understand because it is his passion, and I want to support him in everything!”

Alex:” What is one thing you love about his position?”

Fran: LONG PAUSE “He is doing it for the good of other people, he is keeping people safe, people that he doesn’t even know. I find that so honorable.”

Alex: “What is something you hate about his position?”

Fran: ” The idea that he interacts with some people who do not respect the law enforcement. Its scary, scary to think that something can happen and I will never see him again.”

Alex: Does his job come in between your relationship?”

Fran: “Like I said before, the schedules play a huge part in it. Also, when he comes home and talks about some of the bad things that he has seen, it just stresses me out because I know this is what he deals with on a day to day basis.”

Alex: “Do you fell an extra sense of security when you are with him? Like protected?”

Fran:”Absolutely, he is aware of his surroundings and he knows how to handle the public. I feel safe when  I am with him.

Alex:”How does your family feel about his job?”

Fran:”They love it !! They are extremely supportive of him, my dad and uncle were cops.. they give him a lot of credit and respect.”

Alex: “If you could give advice to anyone who is struggling being in a relationship with someone in law enforcement or wants to be in a relationship with someone who is in law enforcement, what would it be?”

Fran:”The good outweighs the bad. Being with someone who is in law enforcement, they really look out for your best interest. It may seem stressful, but it is so worth it.”

As you can see being in a law enforcement position, your job comes first. This is not me discrediting the relationships that they have, but their job does effect relationships outside of work.

Credit is due where credit is deserved, and being in a law enforcement position, and being an understanding companion to someone in that position is not easy, so kudos to you all.

Hopefully this article is an eye opener to you if you do not agree with everything law enforcement does. These men and women have put their personal lives aside & their lives on the line make this world a better place.They have families and people who are worried about them every single day they walk out in that uniform, not knowing if they are going to walk back in that door at the end of their shift. If you cant understand that, respect that and appreciate that, then you need to really look at the bigger picture here.

Thank you to Jesse & Francesca for your time and all of your honest answers !!

Until next time – xx

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