I really don’t like to flaunt my love life to the world, because it is no ones business but my own. However, being a blogger I have to put some of my personal experiences out there so you can understand why I view things the way I do, so I can help you with the situations you are looking for advice for.
Being single for 4 months now has allowed me to learn different things that come with dating. I have been on a few dates and it made me realize some of the things that I look for in a significant other and things that are an automatic deal breaker.
Conversation is KEY
I went on this one date, nice guy, great job and good looking, however the conversation was forced. The chemistry was not there at all, way too many awkward silences for my liking and he only talked about himself. Once I left, I get a text saying “I am so sorry I was nervous, our next date will be better I promise (=” Well guess what my friend, first impressions are everything and you absolutely lost any chances of a second date.
Conversations should flow very naturally, you should want to know more about the person sitting across from you. If the person you are on a date with just talks about themselves the whole time and not even care to ask you about yourself, clearly they are trying to sell you on something and they don’t even care to see if you are a compatible person for them.
I am a goal driven person, I have things that I want to accomplish by a certain age or time period. So when I am on a date with someone and they say “Yeah, I’m just going with the flow whatever happens, happens” my first instinct is to RUN. Why you ask ? don’t get me wrong, I’m a laid back girl, I go with the flow on like weekends when I’m out with my friends and we are trying to figure out what bar to go to. When it comes to my future, 5 year plans and a potential significant other, I will not be with someone who is just going to “go with the flow.” So find yourself someone who is going to continue to want to better themselves, and challenge you to be the best you can be, not someone who you have to be motivating to better themselves because ultimately they end up bringing you down.
I used to think I had a type, but I have realized my “type” clearly was not working for me. I started giving everyone a chance, any color, shape, or size – I was giving chances to people who made me feel happy, because overall that’s what I was searching for, someone who can bring happiness back into my life. If you know me, reading is not my thing, I don’t enjoy it. I would rather sit home and watch a movie. I hate science, it doesn’t interest me, if anything it gives me a headache. Just so happens I go on a date with someone who is a science teacher and is in a book club LOL. I did it because I wanted to gear away from what I would usually go for and see if it would work out. Unfortunately he bit his nails so bad he had little nubs and I had to cut him off but he was a nice guy, just did something that was a huge pet peeve of mine and I couldn’t look past it. If he didn’t do that, I would have most likely went on a second date with him, and he clearly was not my “type.”
Go with your gut
How many times have you come back from a date and your telling your friends “Oh it was great, blah blah blah…BUT….” any time there is a BUT and your about to ask someone else for their opinion it is because you are unsure of how you feel about it. You wonder if you would be able to look past it, or if it will really bother you. In my opinion any time I have told a friend a scenario like that .. I realize I should have just followed my gut and ended it right then and there. You know yourself better than anyone, you might be looking for some validation from someone else to justify your feelings, but no one knows you way of thinking and understands why you feel the way you do.
Don’t get discouraged if you have one or two bad dates, there are many other fish in the sea. Don’t settle for someone because you desperately want to find MR/MRS Right. Take the time to get to know someone, if you already have doubts with a person – your time is valuable and don’t waste it on someone who is not worthy of your love.
Until next time – xx